An Introduction to Hugo, by Hugo.

Howdy, Patriots. I’m Hugo Scheckter, the new writer in town, and I want to thank Will for the kind introduction, although he did fail to point out my stunning good looks and fantastic dress sense. So a bit about me – I am a Freshman in the business school (a school known for its humor), who was born in rural Georgia. After gaining a fondness for country music, my parents decided to move us to England, where I live currently. What do I do on campus? Well despite being on academic probation for a ‘below average’ first semester, I do actually do a lot of stuff. I’m part of the CRs, and am currently a regular guest slot on 3 political WRGW shows, despite knowing very little about American politics. I’m also President of the GW Cricket team, which I promote at any opportunity (check out our new promo video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvV7M0WPNY0)… And that’s about it.

So here is my first attempt to be funny on the Patriot. Hope it’s okay, and if it’s not, I don’t really care as I’m here for at least two weeks. Enjoy.

‘What’s it like being the only British guy on campus?’ is a question I frequently get asked. What do you mean, ‘What is it like?’. How can I compare that to anything else? It’s not like I’ve been an American student, and I woke up one morning and I was British. ‘Great’, I answer, and that’s the end of that conversation.

People here seem to love England. Most have never been, and if they have, did the typical tourist thing: Buckingham Palace, Houses of Parliament and the London Eye. That’s not really England. I think people see Sherlock Holmes, and think that is what England is like. People riding around on carriages through cobbled streets, wearing top hats and cloaks, and having adorable accents. That’s another thing – the accent. Everyone loves it. I have guys (meh) and girls saying they love it. What’s my reaction to that? It’s not like they are complimenting a great achievement, or something that I have worked on for months… If people were admiring my toned physique or my superior intellect then maybe I would be happier about the praise.

So what’s the USA like – how do the two countries compare? First thing I should say is that I am not an ‘America noob’, as I was born here, lived here and visited every year, but living here is something different. Obviously there is the language barrier – I have real problems ordering ‘war-ta’ in a Mexican restaurant for some reason. Always insist on seeing my ID, then asking me if Grey Goose is okay. Also, American Football. What’s the deal with that? The foot is used maybe 4 or 5 times a quarter… it should be ‘throwball’ or ‘take-freaking-ages-and-have-commercials-every-five-seconds-ball’. Still, I’m learning it. And apparently hosting a superbowl party…

I love the dollar here… not the notes – they are all the same color and size and so you cant see quickly what you have, but how far your dollar can go! I buy all my clothes, presents, electronics here in Target. I did all my Christmas shopping in there for $100, which for the same money I couldn’t even fill up my car for back home (thanks to $8 a gallon gas!). Going home to England makes my wallet wish I was back in DC every minute I’m there!
So what specifically about GWU is interesting to me? Politics for one – GWU is the only school where I would be able to see someone put their arm through a wall after a house vote. GWU is the only school where their College Republicans are flown on a charter plane to Colorado to campaign. When someone comes up to me and asks if I heard how the junior senator from Wisconsin voted in HR1234 my reply is ‘Wisconsin is a state?’, and they seemed shocked!

GWU also has some stupid organizations as far as I am concerned, and I’m sure people will come back at me with angry replies. How about ‘Students against Genocide’? I want to know what prompted them to start that? Were there students wiping races? Was there a particularly strong ‘Students for Genocide’ group who were gaining prominence and these kids thought it was too much? Yeah, a genocide joke… I went there. Its seriously like starting a ‘Students against Same Sex Ginger Midget Anal Rape’ group – is there really anyone for it?

Basically, America and Britain are pretty similar. Some places are nice, some are pretty crappy. And before you ask, no, I haven’t met the Queen.