Humor Third Place: “Rest in Piece to RIP”

It has been a week since the 2Pac performance at Coachella, and I still feel weird about it. Of course I’m excited to see hologram technology advance past the message from Leia in Star Wars, but aside from the advancement of science, there is no consensus on whether April 15, 2012 will go down as the best or worst day in the history of music. Although Snoop did a great job interacting with the 2Pac animation and making it seem like an actual live performance, I think this is not a good thing for music in general. It’s like sitting down with ice cream and watching movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. Everything is great in the moment, but upon further reflection, that was probably an irresponsible thing to do. In the case of 2Pac, where close friends were performing and they contacted his mother, the whole performance seems to be a genuine tribute as opposed to the exploitative potential that this technology undoubtedly has. But this could get messy quickly and this all but assures that this technology is here to stay, because just like that tub of ice cream, it just tastes so good. Pretty soon acts like Elvis, the Beatles, and The Jackson Five feat. Pre-Pubescent Justin Bieber will be competing acts on the strip in Vegas. No matter your opinion, it seems inevitable that these dead acts are going to catch on, and probably never rest again.

So to officially make the statement that Resting In Peace is dead, how about GW gets rid of that creepy Big George and brings out a fake life George Washington to make appearances for the school? CI skits would immediately be improved with a dramatic speech about safe sex from General George. No one is skipping their first chance to see George Washington live, in simulated 3D. And when Obama is speaking on campus, let’s really make sure people know who’s hosting the President, and have George Washington tip his tri-sided hat to him in the introduction.

We could even take it a step further, and just have George take over as President of the University, and have Steven Knapp decide what he says. There would obviously be a rule that no one can bring dogs to meetings with our esteemed president so there aren’t any unfortunate Wizard of Oz scenarios, but having George be the face of the school as well as the mascot couldn’t hurt. And Knapp wouldn’t shoot this down since it is only making his job easier, since no one is going to complain about tuition costs and budgeting to one of our nation’s founding fathers. Really what can you complain about to the man who drove out the British and was our first President?